” If anything can go wrong, it will.”

Some days in our house demonstrate this aphorism so well, I can’t help believe it’s true.

Today morning started (?) after a very wakeful night. What with the toddler waking and the putting him back to sleep.Then finding myself wide awake and hungry and munching an apple while the boys slept like rocks. And then my brain got greedy and I sat in bed reading on my phone. It must have been nine minutes of shut-eye when I heard the toddler say,”wake up now.”

1. Yawn and up. Up in a trance, I walked into the kitchen , tripped on the one step that leads me there. Tried to take the trash out and the bag tore obviously. After I picked up scraps and managed to keep the toddler from digging into refuse, this bad boy put on a passionate show of fury. I really wanted to go into hibernation.

2. I did the dishes and made lemon juice for Big bear and me. And I picked up my glass and put it into the sink. How did I miss the drinking?Is that even possible? I felt dumb.YAWN.I didn’t bother making more and no fresh lemon juice makes my mood awful.

42. The spinach I was going to cook into a gravy with cottage cheese proved to be non-existent. I really don’t know how its absence  yawwwn got undetected while I did all the prep. Am I sleep deprived? You bet.

409. I managed breakfast and packed lunches. And found Mr. Bear having a cross morning too.

6. The monsoon has arrived here in Delhi. And it is mostly muggy and tropical (not the pineapple coconut kind) but the mosquito menace high humidity uncomfortable sort of. I am forever putting the clothes out and getting them in.’A sunshiny shower that doesn’t last half an hour’ but  makes sure some or the other drain is clogged. And I spent some real quality time with the balcony drain today.

7. yawn

8. I have been meaning to do something educational with the big boy. Yesterday we found no pencils. And today the books went missing. That delighted the boy I am sure for he rolled his eyes in feigned surprise and muttered something under his breath. Not tomorrow young man.

5645. The toddler tantrums are reaching new heights. All my empty threats are bouncing back. Today I  got to hear, ” Naughty mommy making ears hurt.”” yes me naughty  yes” ” yes me cry”  and from the seven-year old ,” I’ ll go away to the mountains and invent some new plane and will not let you see it.” I am ruining quite a few lives here. The guilt the guilt the guilt.

3. Mild yelling. I had to.

9. I have lost my butter brain. My boys are spelling out everything they have to say. ” I am looking for w -a-t-e-r”” I am looking for d-g-t-p-k” ” h-e h-i-t m-e”  . My thought is in the slowest motion possible.

10.I deserve some chocolate or some spiced crisps. There is none.

Maybe good sleep will resolve everything but the prospects of it are really bad. Maybe someday I ll come up with a post on how to override Murphy’s law. For now I am so clumsy I  could be upside down and not know it.






too much responsibility




it takes a village to raise a child

If you are a grown up( even if you aren’t that grown up) and a parent, and have not had the said village supporting your parenting project, you must have experienced  days of too much responsibility.

Days when you desperately want one excuse that would entitle you to a free day (too far fetched) ,a free hour?

Excuse.I mean you can’t forget your homework book on the bus anymore. Or just forget that you had a test. Or fake a tummy ache. Or just generally be a jerk. Or better be a lazy teenager. Or a brooding one. You can’t even pretend to be intrigued by the universe or be hopeful of solving its mysteries. Nada.

There is not one excuse to excuse yourself of responsibility overload. The genuine ,” I don’t feel like it today ” is obsolete. That is not yours to say anymore.

And if you happen to be sick, well, you still got to keep moving and the day going. There are packed schedules, and routines and nap times.

You know when the engine’s running, nobody is driving.

You can very well be ignoring your own teeth but your kids need to brush twice a day.

And you need to be mostly nice and cheerful. It is kind of harder than you thought it would be.

Big Bear has had to change his Job. Work is much harder and for longer. But he has no excuse to excuse himself out of a difficult transition. As grown ups we are expected to be responsible at all times. And as parents, even more.

We need to go on or things fall apart.

Though we can not load off major responsibilities, we need the money. Children have to be fed, routines have to be followed , there are still some things grown ups can do without being considered reckless:

1.Take a vacation if you can.( not for us right now) but if possible, you must. Children need a break too from grumpy adults. A change of scene would help everyone.

2. Watch some adult comedy. Some laughter keeps you in the game.

3.Some time aside for something you really like. Any little miniscule amount of time. It helps your brain stay yours for longer.

4. Beer. or wine. or whatever is your choice of liquor. Moderate amounts make you feel like an adult and help you overlook the minuses of adulthood. Warning : anything more than moderate will lead you to irresponsibility. We are aiming at shaking off a bit of burden and not foolhardiness.

5. Some love. For yourself. For your partner in crime. For the children. Complete abandon is recommended when it comes to love.

6. Good Food. On most days. But when dinner is contributing to too much responsibility , feel free to substitute with healthy bread, beans from a can, boiled eggs, or just plain grilled cheese.

7.Hope. On tough days you might not have any but it comes back. Always. She’s good that way. So cling on.

8. Be laid back. accept dirty floors,sticky counters. concentrate on full tums and clean bums.( I really need to work on this)

8. Or just find a village in the first place.






















where do babies come from?

Reproduce is a word now often heard in our home.

‘Diary of a wimpy kid’ does that to your kid. Square a kid’s curiosity and multiply it by some nerdy looking number like 354. Add to the mix – a big book about animals, another with all the amazing facts there can be. Allow the kid to watch some discovery channel animal insights. I guess just cube what you got after the little math above.

There you are.

” Is that a mammal? Is this a mammal? Are you a mammal?” Continue reading where do babies come from?

Terrible twos.

Accidentally on purpose.

Dear toddler

I know it. I know what you are up to. You are doing it all accidentally on purpose.

Little man, you are testing my patience , trying my temper. You are floating your boat , rustling up a storm and watching Mommy go down and drown in a sea of plastic toys.

You are watching my moves. You are not letting my derriere touch the couch.Right in the moment of contact, you are always asking for water. When I sit, you want me up and running because I guess you want to study a flurry of activity. And you want me to come lie down with you when I am a moving mass of hurry. You are making me tread a tightrope and you are distracting me as I tip toe.

You are holding on to your glass of juice with the tips of your fingers and making sure there is a sticky puddle every few minutes. And you are making it plain that no one, not even daddy gets to wipe the fine mess. That I am your special person is perfectly clear.

You are stating your absolute NO and your defiant YES. And then you are wanting to squeeze me as you please. And bring me to my knees.

You are copying my words, you are waiting for me to lose it. You want to know when Mommy will yell and when everything is swell.

You look at me looking at you and you throw whatever is in your hands and run away. And if I don’t follow , you come surprised and throw a tantrum instead.

You want my help and you don’t want my help. (You just now squirted glue on my phone and are laughing) You have glued my brain, not to mean that my phone is my brain. Well it is.

You sing and you dance and and you like me to watch. You want to draw on me with your crayon. And when I am all mushy , you say ,”GO away”

You know ‘important’ and it is your purpose to destroy it. You know ‘properly’ and it is fun to shake all proper out of it.

You say, ” I am scared.” Of ant, of wasp, of lizard, of dog, of crow.You want to come into my lap.

Little man, I know it. I know it all. Accidentally on purpose. You are becoming your own special person. It is not just the terrible twos.

I am trying to not to fail you. I am trying to give you a pleasant mommy. It takes a lot but you let me smother you with my kisses. So it is okay.

But sometimes, please let mommy sit.

when mommy tries to think positive!


when mommy tries to think positive

After a rather back breaker of a day, when all that mommy said was ‘NO’ in assorted tones and all she did was clean up miscellaneous messes, Mommy decides to think positive the next day.

She decides to forget the madness,thinks she will handle tomorrow better.There is no riding over mommy guilt, you know. She falls asleep with ideas for a happy constructive day.Come midnight and the toddler begins to bawl. It takes her an hour to put the mischief maker back to sleep. Now, that’s a great start.

Well, Mommy still manages to keep things relatively positive today. And how!!

When after seven minutes of cleaning the kitchen, the floor was full of left over food from the little imp’s plate, Mommy thought,” Maybe I did clean in a hurry today.This is an opportunity to amend.Hurray!”

When the monkeys were fighting like wrestlers, and would not come apart despite Mommy’s gentle pulls and noise got more bothersome by the minute, Mommy announced,” hey!who wants to do a bit of craft? We ll cut paper squares, squirt glue, write on walls .Woo-hoo!”

When the big imp wouldn’t stop his prattle, Mommy thought,” Yay! I have no brain space to worry about the important stuff.”

Then the little devil decided to show some mood and ran to lie down in a corner and did some fish dancing to loud unrestrained bwa bwah and Mommy thought,” What a feisty passionate baby I have. I can’t wait to see his passion turn into some genius talent. I REALLY CAN’T WAIT.”

When Mommy finally picked up paper strips and wiped the crayon marks, she found a felt pen leak on her favorite bedspread and she thought,” O dear such a reminder this shall be – an unshapely , lively blue mark on my best pink rosy sheet.”

When big devil by mistake  threw peach pips right outside the trash, Mommy thought ,” Aha a chance for some lifts and bends and to again wash my hands!”

When she took them out, the toddler threw his shoe and threatened another tantrum. The youngster refused to walk straight and Mommy said,” Come let’s run. Reach home before the meltdown. It’s been years I ran a real race.”

That little rogue got up earlier from his nap and Mommy said,” Yoo-hoo another round of play. such a fine day!who needs rest anyway?”

Mommy’s head ached and ached and she thought,”Take the last pill.Throw the empty foil. Chance to get rid of clutter!”

And there was still dinner to make, another round of picking up to do, brushing and bedtimes to bear and some prep for breakfast too.

Mommy with eyes like fried eggs, hair with snags she dare not touch, dragging her feet and stretching arms that refuse to go up decided tomorrow there will be no positive thinking.It is going to be a ‘say NO all day’ day.

The day after , Mommy might wear rose colored glasses again.

But till then


Continue reading when mommy tries to think positive!

How to survive an anxiety attack




Calm in the sea

It could be an overload of responsibilities, stress at work, at home , in relationships ,a new baby it could be anything or maybe even apparently nothing that can start an anxiety attack. Anxiety is meant to be a productive function of the body but excess of it can be overwhelming and can completely drain you. It makes sense to think of it this way – When we suddenly find ourselves in precarious do or die situations the heart starts to race, we breathe shallow , tummy spasms, mouth gets dry ,there is fear, body gets into overdrive. This means more expenditure of energy. Now if this happens for prolonged periods of time without much relief ,imagine what it costs your body! It puts you on the edge, causes fatigue and makes you want to give up. Continue reading How to survive an anxiety attack

Summer crafts for kids

Summer crafts are a great way to keep children busy and happy !! You get to spend time together and turn antsy to artsy!

Here’s what we did and what you can do too:
summer crafts
picasso faces

First Graders would love this project. Read together about cubism. Know how parts make a whole. Using bright contrasting colors , going crazy with eyes and noses and mouths – what kid doesn’t love that? Find inspiration on Pinterest or here


Continue reading Summer crafts for kids

Babies don’t keep

BABIES DON'T KEEPThis is mostly to remind myself if I come back here years later when my boys will be young men, that at this moment ,today amidst all the noise and the fights and the one after another annoying days, somewhere I am happy. My hands are full and so is my heart.

treasures of my heart


That I am everyday in love with you, Big Bear, and baby bears – babies you will stay in my heart . In some moments I can see these times fleeting.And I am holding tight.If you are all grown up and have just stumbled upon here mamma’s silly stuff, know that one summer day she wished she could hold on to all of you forever. I hope that you will remember good things about our this small little home and the goofy things we made together. Continue reading Babies don’t keep







Ha !! I think I have it. PMS. Now I am not asking to lie down and binge watch chick flicks and eat chocolate by tons .I am not asking for that at all .I would love to really. I am not suddenly turning into a moody monster .I am irritated but I am keeping it under control. I am waiting someone will call me and I ‘ll happily chatter. Talk and giggle. Some days I miss long girly talks. And nonsense and nothing with any grand meaning. Now I am trying to be meaningful all the time.Days are structured with specific times for specific things. Or there are difficult consequences read bawling tantrums.

Crumbs on the bed are irking me. My kitchen has turned into a frying pan. I am doing art with the boys. Today I am pretending it is fun. Now I am not asking to lie down and read a book cover to cover. Am I? I am craving long romantic talks. and walks. I am not wanting to run errands no one cares about. Continue reading PMS