A long-lost love found and some goodies.

I have no patience with myself. I fail to give myself one idle minute. I fear I would die of emptiness if ever faced with an hour to myself. There is no way I could live through so much time on my own. How would I know?

I keep making my busy days busier.As I make lives of those around me easier and fuller, I find sincerity do a number on my sanity. Yet I thrive on the goofy pride. Sometimes, when I try to draw attention to what new I made or how I made old better , my enthusiasm meets with perfunctory hums and haws. A little too late, ” it is nice.” I break a little every time but pull myself up too. Ever had everyone in the house look forward to breakfast and being baffled staring at the stove top only to put a decent meal on the table a half hour later?

This blog began and I thought I could bring something new to it everyday. Here I am struggling, barely swimming sitting past midnight to somehow post a little something. It has been two weeks I did that last. Pulling an all nighter each time I have to.

I started painting again.It just happened and I can’t stop. To embrace a long-lost love fulfills the incomplete me. It let tears out I did not know I had. It tells me I am not going to die of emptiness. It says an hour to myself is just what I need. Most days will not allow me that, but the nights will. For now, I don’t care if I lose a little more sleep. Two things there be, I  am not letting go – this blog here and painting. Not this time. Not again.

Because I am happy , I am happy to share!!

Here are a few wallpapers, all either complete or parts of my recent work. Set them as your phone lock screen. I hope they will bring you some cheer!

Feel free to download, THEY ARE FREE!

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sunflowers
download a few

 

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wildflowers
Here's a basket-full !!

 

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poppies
walk through the field

 

Hollyhocks
Hollyhocks
take home a sprig

 

by the window
by the window
for keepsakes!

 

little girls
little girls
download loveliness here

 

little girls (there can't be enough)
little girls (there can’t be enough)
Some more sunshine

 

 

A make believe Birthday!

AND A LESSON IN HAPPINESS!!

I almost never know till I turn around, hands covered in dough that my toddler has been standing behind me. I am taken aback everyday. In a rush to wash my hands, rustle up breakfast and pack lunches, I ask him if he needs something or if he needs to go poop. These days we make a lot of rounds to the ” baff room” and make grunting noises . SO, yes.

But then he said, “NO!!” and in the most unbearably charming way announced ,” It is me’s bresday”  and proceeded to burst into ” happy bresda-ay too- mee”,” sing mamma sing” . I sang half enchanted by his summer rain like singing and half already tired thinking about what I will have to do to play ‘Birthday’.

 

” Mamma, bake a cake in your oven and we will sing and all ‘animanimals’ will come for my bresday,” said he swaying his arms to some music my ears conveniently let go unheard.

“You be a giwaffe and I ‘ll be a softie wabbit.”

My baby was trying to celebrate himself. Wasn’t here a lesson for me? I so often disappoint the dreaming little thing I once was. How can I ever forget my elaborate plans for extravagant tea parties? I never went to one and only my old fluffy bear attended mine but were my afternoons blissfully busy!!

When we never went for a holiday, the little me went to the most loveliest faraway places complete with an itinerary, too many bags and a thousand misadventures all under my quilt . Make-believe is extraordinary. I called myself “Terry” for a full two years . To think of it now, ” Terry ” helped me cope at school. She wasn’t shy and it wasn’t hard for her to make friends. She left after helping me form two close friendships. I miss the boldness she gave me, the way she celebrated me.

I like her to be BIG!!

So we made a simple lemon drizzle cake. We added a tea light . We celebrated!!

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We need not always keep waiting for happiness to come our way. If you have felt under-appreciated for whatever reasons, ASK  to be made feel special.  Or better still, make yourself feel special!! Learn from the babies!!

If you got inspired and will play along, we would like to wish you a hapipiness-4P .S : Does your toddler have any garbled cute mispronunciations ? I am in no hurry to get the sounds right! I am going to miss them badly!! Will you??

In the pages of a book

in the pages of a book/ soft pastel/ November 2015

There is a ladder

into the sea

A boat to ride the waves

of salty generosity

No medieval map

No X marked spot

No swash buckling sea-men

to keep me company

On my own

I am on my way

to ‘it- might-have -been’

where Tom got lost

And Pippi got found

where Heidi held Snowflake

who then ran down

where I might stop by

for tea

with the mad hatters

who for certain

will capture me

I will

ride the waves again

this time with

ferocity

give up or find my way

it is all

up to me

Somewhere

in the pages of a book

‘it -might-have-been’

it is,there is

my favorite place to be.

rain-bootsThe most magical time of the year is here.I give my boy some fuzzy colorful socks,a cup of hot chocolate and a new book. Before you can say Willy Wonka, he is all tucked away in his favored chair. Quiet and happy as if he were a swaddled baby still. I find myself dissolving. Some memories, the farther time takes you away from them the more they tug at your heartstrings. I look at him, my baby still. The same gentle smile, the familiar chuckle , the rounded cheeks. It is all there. I am grateful.

It is scotch tape. It is cinnamon. It is a batch of sugar cookies. Blustery boots I don’t care if it is too early to say,’ it is Christmas.’ It is just the time to get cozy with a book while your tiny toe wiggles its way out of a little hole it has managed to poke in the new snuggly socks.  Irresistible. If you can stick your nose out in the air. Do. It is time.

To make your reading hours with your child more cuddlesome, here is a list of  some best-loved books put together by my eight year old!

  1. Heidi by Johanna Spyri – We promise you ll want to sleep on warm hay. You ll     want to eat too much cheese. Your boy will want to be a goat-herd. And your little girl will be more of sunshine than she already is!!
  2. Paddington helps out by Michael Bond – A lonely bear sitting on his suitcase at the station. Oh! you will want to take him home as did the Browns.  An English setting makes it even more charming.Each chapter is really a story about one of Paddington’s adventures. Just right for an evening’ s reading.
  3. Amelia Jane by Enid Blyton-  Toys that talk , walk and make you laugh! Amelia Jane is definitely getting a lump of coal for Christmas. Did you check this year’s Naughty Nice list??
  4. PIPPI Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren We had to put the name of this book in color!! Pippi is irrepressible!! Warning- Little girls may suddenly prefer WILD hairstyles. Not that they are in fashion!!
  5. Charlie and the chocolate factory by Roald Dahl ” hot ice cream for cold days”, “fizzy lifting drinks” that make you float and ” rainbow drops” that let you spit in seven different colors – need to know more? GO READ.
  6. The bed and breakfast star by Jaqueline Wilson ” Never lose hope, no matter what”
  7. William the outlaw by Richmal Crompton A  delightful read for young boys! Laugh together!!
  8. Treasure Island by R. L . Stevenson  No childhood must grow up without this!!  Roll your eyes , roll your tongue” Fifteen men on the Dead Man’s chest  Yo-ho -ho, and a bottle of Rum!”
  9. The hundred-mile-an-hour-dog  by Jeremy Strong – Streaker is no ordinary dog! There WILL be helpless laughter! Too funny!!
  10. The silly book of weird and wacky words by Andy Seed –  Wix up your Mords!!
                      happy reading!!