So how does today find you? I find it begging me to go back to bed. I distinctly hear these profound words, ” Just go back to bed.”
I can feel the heavy bed hair wildly yawn on my head, hear my knees turning to jelly not yet set. Ready to collapse.Collapsing. Whatever it was that the boys were bickering over, I did not hear, though I have silenced the disquiet. Silence is disquiet. There is a bouquet in the air that congeals into stuffiness near my nose. I sniff .
A lungful of spring. I am playing for time, lingering, making only desultory efforts to pack for our trip to Big Bear’s family home, come Wednesday. There is much to do, I am strained. A short flight, from one kitchen to another. Long car trips with whining kids, a lot of people to meet and greet. The children love the big yard, the roomy spaces while I stay caught in the wash and fold of laundry and the incredible amount of thought that goes into what is for breakfast and lunch and dinner. And again.
“Just go back to bed.”
And dream. Of a holiday, where rest awaits me. Where my puppet legs can flop down finally on a bare cold rock. Where I can be in a singlet to let the cold hurt my skin and then snuggle in white sheets with a cup of tea for as long as I like. Where I can be a bed head in a cafe and just people watch and sketch. Where I can stuff dirty laundry in the bags till I get back home to it and we can eat out all the time and read and slow walk.
Lazy or not, I am stalled for a little while more. Dishes suspended in the sink.Collapsed.
Till I have had a good cry. Then I’ll pack in a rush. Be strong and take it on.